just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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