Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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