I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
