I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
