i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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