i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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