This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
