therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
