We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
