So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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