8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
