So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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