just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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