Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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