I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
