Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
did you get engaged???
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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