i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
