i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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