all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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