Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
