you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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