Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.

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  (941): Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row. http://tfl.nu/asli
  Replies (141) Good night (4113) Bad night (1328)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks

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  (484): Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah (215): Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks http://tfl.nu/j7v7
  Replies (11) Good night (3732) Bad night (947)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.

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  (803): if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market. http://tfl.nu/j5i5
  Replies (15) Good night (752) Bad night (3610)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

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  (313): Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good. http://tfl.nu/3acn
  Replies (19) Good night (1443) Bad night (6351)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

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  (908): Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner. http://tfl.nu/otz7
  Replies (36) Good night (17088) Bad night (1108)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.

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  (508): I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up. http://tfl.nu/8n4w
  Replies (7) Good night (940) Bad night (4873)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class

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  (775): hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class http://tfl.nu/hb3s
  Replies (22) Good night (5126) Bad night (1414)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.

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  (519): and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover. http://tfl.nu/uo1b
  Replies (9) Good night (6851) Bad night (1687)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.

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  (770): "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea. http://tfl.nu/i0ux
  Replies (10) Good night (3088) Bad night (1326)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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  (206): This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate http://tfl.nu/vfhs
  Replies (6) Good night (2478) Bad night (1694)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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  (732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1194) Bad night (475)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (357)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.

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  (229): Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us. http://tfl.nu/rq4r
  Replies (7) Good night (529) Bad night (841)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.

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  (304): He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke. http://tfl.nu/5p7e
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (342)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Like alphabetically I'd say a v

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  (413): Where are you on a scale from one to wasted? (508): Like alphabetically I'd say a v http://tfl.nu/0aex
  Replies (2) Good night (1148) Bad night (371)

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