Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1