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You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
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