Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.

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  (317): Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband. http://tfl.nu/gy79
  Replies (10) Good night (2086) Bad night (904)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.

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  (651): dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression. http://tfl.nu/b05v
  Replies (20) Good night (746) Bad night (2639)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

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  (956): If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you? http://tfl.nu/uuhm
  Replies (31) Good night (1637) Bad night (3716)
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  (909): View more from California

  why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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  (909): why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"? http://tfl.nu/si77
  Replies (10) Good night (3892) Bad night (754)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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  (704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op
  Replies (11) Good night (4739) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time

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  (425): I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I? (1-425): you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time http://tfl.nu/bm15
  Replies (5) Good night (4785) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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  (314): I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night. http://tfl.nu/0xi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1863) Bad night (1074)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw

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  (608): It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw http://tfl.nu/lvr6
  Replies (10) Good night (3780) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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  (724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0
  Replies (1) Good night (2396) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.

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  (219): If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please. http://tfl.nu/b8so
  Replies (4) Good night (1536) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.

  (1-471): View more from

  That's all you talk about when you are wasted.

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  (417): So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history. (1-471): That's all you talk about when you are wasted. http://tfl.nu/3q4b
  Replies (13) Good night (2750) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

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  (231): Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs. http://tfl.nu/oqp6
  Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.

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  (260): I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is. http://tfl.nu/8her
  Replies (16) Good night (1585) Bad night (1040)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials

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  (863): Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials http://tfl.nu/uibd
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

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  (410): Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies.. http://tfl.nu/ny9r
  Replies (2) Good night (1392) Bad night (418)

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