can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
