What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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