Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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