So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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