It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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