States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He shit in the fireplace
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
