THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!