evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter