OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
