Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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