Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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