my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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