Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize