Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions

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(604): View more from British Columbia

there's paper in my vomit.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.

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(903): View more from Texas

True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.

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(512): View more from Texas

no drinking for a week

(1-512): View more from Texas

if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes

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(480): View more from Arizona

strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor

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(561): View more from Florida

This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.

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