you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
