i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I look better un-naked...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
