her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
