so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means