there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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