May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him