i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sorry about my life...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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