I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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