I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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