so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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