That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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