Where is the hickey?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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