I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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