In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
