I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
