I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
