every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
