We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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