when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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