In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
where are my eyebrows?
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