pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
