I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
