It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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