whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think I won the penis lottery.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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