Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What a dumb baby whore.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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