she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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