i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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