we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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