hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
